"I'd open a can of whoopass"
By Dan Willis
Vision Sport is the place for TNA Wrestling. New episodes of the round-up show Xplosion arrive every Sunday, plus from 28 August you can see TNA Showdown: Hard Justice. Plus there are 18 TNA Wresling classic films on the service.
Here we talk to three of the federation's finest - and most bonkers - exponents
Johnny Devine
Describe yourself
I am the finest piece of wrestling machinery walking God’s green earth. Trained in the dungeon. More charisma than one man should legally have.
The worst battering you’ve ever given someone?
I’ve given Jay Lethal some pretty bad beat downs over the last few months.
And the worst that you’ve taken?
I’ve taken many – we all take our lumps. The Ultimate X-match that we did at Destination X left me fairly battered and bruised.
Most hated opponent?
Absolutely Jay Lethal without any doubt. Eventually I’m going to figure out a counter to the Lethal combination, I can’t seem to get that one. A close second is Kaz – I hate him. He’s taken everything that’s mine.
What would you like to do to either the next time you come up against them?
Every time I get into the ring with Kaz I’m trying to end his career, the same with Lethal. I can’t stand being the ring with either of them. Everything about them I loathe. I hate Jay Lethal and his black machismo gimmick. I hate Kaz and his pretty boy, wannabe Antonio Banderas baby-faced looks. It drives me crazy.
If you were a piece of office stationery, what would you be?
I’d be a staple puller. When you’ve got things put together too well or if you’ve got something that needs to come apart, I’m the one they call. And regardless of whether you’re using me on a piece of paper or on a person, I’ll draw blood and leave a bite mark.
What’s so good about TNA wrestling?
We offer an alternative. We are the entire gambit. We’ve got the X-Division, we’ve got women that can really wrestle, you’ve got top guys and heavyweights that can really go for it in the ring. Our wrestling is second to none. When it comes to house shows where we can shine and really turn it on, that’s where the difference is.
Any message for your British fans?
I love Britain. I spent three months there, living in Merseyside. I love the British fans and their style. I hope everyone continues their support of TNA and local wrestling. Go and see some local wrestling in your area.
Christian Cage
Describe yourself
I’m the arrogant kind of guy that fans seem to love to hate or hate to love. When you might think that fans would dislike me, they actually like me. I’m always talking myself into a corner in the ring but have to fight my way out of it. People have disliked me for so long that they end up liking me.
The worst battering you’ve ever given someone?
I’ve given so many. Last year we thought that Abyss was the weak link in our group so we gave him a beat down. We beat him up with barbwire baseball bats pretty bad, then threw him in some shattered glass and stuff like that. So he was pretty bloody and beat up. I also had a pretty brutal cage match with Rhino that was pretty bloody.
And the worst that you’ve taken?
I got pretty bloodied up in that same cage match with Rhino and I actually got knocked through the cage and landed on the floor at the end of it, so that kind of hurt.
Most hated opponent?
I’ve had a long-running feud with Kurt Angle. We’ve been at each other’s throats for the last year.
What would you like to do to him?
I’d like to take him in the ring and embarrass him and beat him down. I’d like to pin him in front of all our fans. The biggest embarrassment you can do is to beat them clean in the middle of the ring.
If you were a piece of office stationery, what would you be?
I’d be the glue, because once you put it on, as hard as you try you can’t get it off.
What’s so good about TNA wrestling?
It’s an alternative. There are lots of up and coming stars mixed in with some established stars of the industry. It’s a small company that has grown in five years to be a prime time show on a big network in the States, with loads of monthly pay per views. A lot of big name talent is starting to come here.
Any message for your British fans?
We’re looking forward to bringing the TNA product over there for all the great wrestling fans, because they do have some of the most passionate fans in the world. It’s a treat to perform there, so we’re looking forward to it.
Shark Boy
Describe yourself
Well I’d start by talking real slow! I’m a guy that’s been doing this for 10 years now. I wear a shark costume in the ring and open up a can of whoopass on whoever’s in front of me.
Where did the name Shark Boy come from?
It was originally inspired by an American band called the Toadies who had a song called ‘I come from the water’ that inspired the beginning of the whole character.
The worst battering you’ve ever given someone?
Generally I’m on the other end of that, unfortunately. It’d be a lot easier to make a list of the guys like Tomko, Team 3D [Brother Ray and Brother Devon] and guys that have pretty much made my life miserable. But I’ve handed out my fair share of beats, mostly in the X-Division [group wrestling]. I’ve been doing a load of tag team stuff recently with the Curry Man and been wrestling Motor City Machine Guns [Alex Shell and Chris Sabin] and LAX [Homicide, Hernandez, Salinas and Hector Guerrero].
And the worst that you’ve taken?
We’ve had our fair share of tough matches with 3D.
Most hated opponent?
I have a lot of fun wrestling with the Machine Guns. I’d love to have one more go with Team 3D. I would get in there and stump a mud hole in them, open up a can on them, grab whatever’s laying around and whack them over the head with it. Have fun beating the shell out of them.
If you were a piece of office stationery, what would you be?
White Out [correction fluid] because I rub people out and erase them right off the page.
What’s so good about TNA wrestling?
People were looking for an alternative and something else to watch. We deliver our own distinct brand and that’s what people identify with. There’s most fast-paced action and more wrestling on our show.
Message for your British fans?
I can’t wait to get back over there – I’m going to swim across the big pond myself. I love the people over there, they’ve always been great to me.